Guest Poet: Nate Marsh

In the absence of any new material from yours truly, my comrade-in-lyrics Nate Marsh has come up trumps with a song about a mutual canine friend of ours who goes by the name of Jakey B. Mather. It's in the vein of a T-Pain song, and I'm sure you'll agree that it is nothing short of bloody AMAZING...


'Squeak Squeak Bitches'

Liking my sack on a Friday night
Ready to go out & I'm feeling alright

Gotta present the my best for the bitches in my area
Don't wanna look like a punkass Scottish Terrier

Roll up to Costellos - that's where I go to unwind
Young Pekineses catches my eye, damn she's fine!

Refrain:
Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
He's the top dog
Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
How many bitches he gonna snog?

Feeling pretty hungry, is it dinner time?
Check my doggie rolex, damn it's quarter past nine!

Order a plate of the chef finest dish
Better be Lamb & Rice, Science Diet is the shizz

Toilet or Bottled Water the waitress asks me?"
Give me H2O from where the go human's pee!"

Refrain:
Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
He's the top dog
Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
How many bitches he gonna snog?

I'm a little fellow and but I gotta big heart
And if I paw-slap you, it's gonna smart!

Ok, get this pup a bowl of Bacardi
- now you how Jakey like to party!

The hot Pekinese is now ready to get busy
But I got some bad news, might put her in a tizzy

I tell this fine bitch about my time in the pound
& that seriously limits how much I get around...

I told her straight up that, damn, I got neutered
She left me with the bill, looking for other suitors...

Refrain:
Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
He ain't got no nutz
Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
All he can do is sniff butts!

Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
He ain't got no nutz
Jaaaakey Jaaaakey
All he can do is sniff butts!